Not sure if she knows...

I am not sure Jae knows or understands the big difference between what she is going through and what I am going through.

I am here in Miami, dedicated to her, not looking for anyone, not wanting to talk to anyother women because the conversations are boring and forced and i really do not care to find out anything about them.  I am emotionally obliged to her.

She is not emotionally dedicated to me.  She tell s she loves me, but she is waiting to be told who she is going to be with.  She doesn't worry that I am not looking at other faces, wondering if I can be with them.  What I fear is that she may meet that person.  Instead of it being me, it may be someone else?  Is it Harold?  She is still not over him.  What will happen when she arrives in California?  I wish she would have chosen me back on october 29?  I would have helped her get over him.

I am not sure if she feels insecure about me.  I do not give her a reason to doubt where I stand with her.  She does a lot to cause doubt with me.  Does she know this?  Does she know she causes the insecurity by staying quiet and withdraw?

Does she love me?  she tells me she does, but she does not demonstrate it.

The only thing I know is that I love her.

I would hate to lose her.