Harold Basler keeps haunting me

She is hurt.  He hurt her.

And she is trying to cope with that rejection.  He basically tore her heart asunder.  From what she tells me, it was from one day to the next that he broke up with her.  Told her she was not the type of girl for her.  Then, from what she tells me, revelled in the fact they were no longer together and changed his facebook status to SINGLE.

Come to think of it, to document how much she thinks of him, because of the fact he loves basketball so much, when I took her to the game on 12/15, i know for a fact she genuinely had a good time.  But, I have a small suspicion she posted the pics and the comments to let him know where she was.  To get a reaction (which she did) and got a response (which he did respond).  I do not believe it was the response she was looking to receive, but he responded.  He reacted.

She tells me that her friend Kiki keeps her updated on stuff he is doing and girls he is dating.  She hates hearing about the girls he is dating, and he keeps telling her.  She then tells me he sometimes says they will be back together.

I think he is torturing her by tell her all of this.  However, she needs to find closure in this situation.  My fear is that the closure she will get is the one I do not want, but I cannot stop that.  I have no say nor am I anyone to get in the way.

She tells me she needs to see enough change in him in order for her to take him back, but she has not told me what kind of change she wants.

He is the reason why she and I have not moved forward.  She cannot commit herself to me or anyone because she has hopes, regardless of how small, they may be getting back together.  Until she determines beyond shadow of a doubt that they have no future together, which is my hope.  I know i shouldn't say that, as much as I want her to be happy, I want to be happy with her.

I think of the things she tells me they did together.  Some I know she and I will never do because I am not the athletic type.  Other things I know we can do, and other things she has never done and I wish I could introduce her to the things I enjoy.  I am going to the Golden Globe party tonight and when I told her she said she thought it was very cool.

I think about how it would be living with her.  Sharing a home, sharing likes and dislikes and mixing our lives togehter and believes and perhaps have a child.  I know the child comment is a little heavy.  I want a child and I want a child with her.  I told her this once and she said it was a tall order.  I laughed being that I am short.  I think about sitting at home watching TV together, listening to music together.  Getting ready for work or for the day together, or getting ready for bed together (which would be fun, as I would make that so worth it for her).

I think about those things.  I dream about it.  I smile when I do.

I love this woman.  I am being patient and faithful.  I hope faithful enough.